Sarcasm Level: Expert

Long about, January 20, 1981, Ronald Reagan promised to faithfully execute the office of the President. He solemly swore it. According to Article II of the U.S. Constitution, the president does have the right to affirm or swear that oath depending upon his beliefs. He swore it and then about an hour later, he freed those hostages. When he did that, my exact thought was, “why couldn’t Jimmy Carter do that?”

Okay so the truth is, Jimmy Carter actually did try to break them out- that’s where the story of “Blackhawk Down” comes from- but in terms of negotiating with terrorists, he refused and mainly because this is Murica, we don’t negotiate with terrorists, no matter what is at stake. Your favorite news station didn’t tell you that part… did they?

Did they happen to mention that while the presidential campaigns were going on through the months of 1980, the Shah of Iran and Ronald Reagan were in negotiations to not free those hostages until he became the president? I know for a fact they did not.

I hated Jimmy Carter from that point. I don’t give a shit how many peanuts he digs up or how many houses he builds for poor people, I will always hate him for not freeing those hostages. I will always love Ronald Reagan for freeing them. Ladies and gentlemen, you can’t get more “Sheeple” than that.

But I was 9 years old. What the actual fuck is your excuse?

Ronald Reagan was a good talker, that’s how he fell into politics to begin with. He used to speak for Barry Goldwater because he was a famous and handsome actor from Hollywood- ZERO political experience. But he hated a Commie Pinko Fucker just as much as the next person and add that to the fact that he was a smooth talker, how could you not vote for him? So, tell me again how much you hate Obama because he has no political experience? At least he was a Junior Senator, that’s WAY more political experience than Reagan had when he was elected governor of California. And when he became president, he was doing what he could to get rid of medicare and social security and robbing the social security fund to pay for arms in trade for hostages in Iran. Remember the Iran-Contra Affair? Tell me again how this country does not, under any circumstances, negotiate with terrorists. Would not you call a “trade” a “negotiation”?

The whole time he was sideswiping your medicare and social security, out of the other side of his face, he was telling you he would never do that. Cause Republican politicians don’t lie, do they? Obama is clearly the only politician who has ever lied.  (by the way, that’s sarcasm)

I’ve always been a politics freak- Republican to my core and the only thing I can say in hindsight is, Thank God I was not old enough to vote. So funny how the same Republican Fucktards on my Facebook profile are the same Democrat Fucktards from high school who made fun of me for being a Republican Fucktard back then. Maybe, thank God that none of us were old enough to vote because clearly, we were all a little fucktardis.

I think the thing that gets me the most is that I was a Republican for all the wrong reasons. I grew up in a house, now… wait a minute… need to throw a disclaimer here. I was a product of my environment, I am not saying it was right, I am just saying that’s the way it was in that house.

My mother and step-father were both staunch Democrats. Very racist. Very holier than thou. They are also child molesters and my step-dad claims to be part Cherokee Indian. So, you can imagine my disdain when I found out that my real dad’s maternal side was also Cherokee Indian. My step-dad could not stand to see white women with black guys. I was not allowed to go to the mall because that’s where they purportedly hung out. So just so you know, all those times I skipped school, don’t you dare think that I didn’t say it was because I thought since white girls hung out with black guys there too, it must clearly mean that I’m not allowed to go there either. Hence, I never got into trouble for skipping school. Ever. And OH, all those times I said, “can’t be any worse than shacking up with a nasty Indian”. I assure you, I am a little shocked I am still alive.


That’s mainly the reason I was a Republican and Christian to boot. I could not be like them on any level however, and here’s where the disclaimer comes into play, I also wasn’t a big fan of interracial relationships. Truth hurts but it will also set you free.

I swore I would never knowingly, soberly, or willfully vote for a Democrat. My own room mate called me, “the most liberal conservative” she had ever met. That’s when Bill Clinton was in office and I promise you, it was all I could not to clean her clock for putting my name in the same sentence with the term, ‘liberal’.  Though, I wasn’t too far and away from the first election in which I was old enough to vote and I was still a little cross about the whole Ronald Reagan thing. I couldn’t vote for Bush the First during his first election for the age thing and our little thirty-day stint in the Persian Gulf stopped me from voting for him in his second campaign run but I was damn sure not voting for Clinton. I recall throwing a lot of protest votes back in those days and it was more for voting against the Democrats but not for the Republicans. Make sense? I suspect that’s how a lot of voting goes on right here today. They didn’t vote for their own candidates more than they were just voting against Obama.

I get it. I really do.

I am sarcastic by nature. It is my way of helping people see the light without actually saying, “the light is over there, do you see it?”. With this Affordable Healthcare Act or “Obamacare” as it is commonly referred to, I hear a lot of people worried about what it will do to their taxes. That we shouldn’t have to pay for other people’s healthcare, or welfare benefits, or anything else for that matter. In keeping with the very foundations of this country, since people love going down that road too, we are a nation of people who take care of each other. Whole communities coming forward to help their fellow man. That’s where this country came from. So tell me why does the government actually have to tell people to help their fellow man? You know what Jesus would have done? Since you profess to know, you don’t even know what you don’t know, so let me ‘splain it to ya. Jesus was the first Socialist. He fed the poor and then taught them how to fish so they could help someone else in need someday. He clothed them and then taught them how to make clothes so they could one day help someone else who needed clothes. What have YOU done for your fellow man that the government did not make you do against your will? Before you speak, shut the fuck up cause I know what you’re going to say and you’re full of shit. Before you even speak. ha!

But if you have truly been paying your taxes all this time, you would know that you’ve always been paying for other people’s healthcare, welfare benefits, etc. Obama didn’t invent welfare, that was that old Democrat named Franklin Delano Roosevelt. The New Deal- look that shit up. Lyndon Baines Johnson set forth a program that had been in the works since the days of FDR but was spat upon every step of the way. Wanna know what it was called? Medicare.

So, you didn’t just now start paying for that unless you just now got your first job in which case, I’ve been paying for you all this time and if you don’t want people to have healthcare, you can give me back my fucking money in pennies for all I care. You shouldn’t get a ‘free ride’ either.

Apparently, you have to spell that out for people because they don’t realize when you’re being sarcastic. You see- I talk of my grandmother a lot. She was the only person in my entire family who even acknowledged that I was something more than a punching bag. She was also a goddam Democrat- LORD have mercy, say something bad about a Democrat in front of that woman and step the fuck back cause she was going to hum some shit across the room at you. So, I thought she was a little nuts at best. But she told me of her struggles through the FDR years to get social security and medicare reforms in place. It wasn’t until LBJ came into office some thirty years later that the medicare actually did go through. She hated the sight of that man, Democrat and all, she hated him. JFK was her guy, she hosted many parties inside her house with him present when he was working on his Senate campaign. Ted Kennedy, Chappaquiddick Boy, in fact, sent flowers to her funeral when she died in 1998- that’s big. I watched when my grandfather died, her social security check got cut clean in half. A program that which she fought for- screwed her over under the Reagan Administration. As much as I loved Reagan, I loved my grandmother more and to me, that was nearly unforgiveable.

She would roll in her grave if she knew that some of the very same people who bitched and moaned about social security and medicare were collecting it now and bitching and moaning about everybody in between Medicaid and Medicare trying to get some affordable healthcare. How much sense does that make? If I have to pay for your asses, I should be allowed to pay for everybody’s asses. I’m just sayin’…

I was also born a Christian. I am not a born again Christian. I have been through my struggles- through Hell and back, really, and when I get into my contemplative modes, I realize that when I had no reason to believe in God, I believed in Him. That abusive childhood, half of what kept me partially sane was the fact that I knew that through God and money, I would eventually get out of it. That’s why I have worked every day nearly since I was ten years old. I knew that God was going to get me through it but I also knew he wasn’t going to come down here and write me a check. Do you see? Still more struggles- nearly killed by a drunk driver, lived in my car, ate candy for dinner many nights, several miscarriages, several stillbirths…

There is a profile on Facebook called, “The Christian Left”, so I thought, man, that’s new. My parents, the racist, Left, totally UnChristian people they are, let me check this out. So one day they posted a Bible verse that miscarriages were God’s way of punishing people who went against Him. I said that I took offense to that because I didn’t feel like I was being punished through my miscarriages but definitely through my stillbirths. They blocked me. So I left their page. Funny how they will block people but won’t kick them off their profiles because the more ‘likes’ they have, the more appealing they are to marketers. It is also funny how they have these public profiles all over Facebook for anybody to ‘like’ and ‘share’ but the moment somebody posts something they disagree with, the name calling, blocking, and banning starts. Maybe they should say something like, you can only be on my profile if you agree with me. I think that is knee-high bullshit. You’re obviously going to encounter people who don’t agree with you. I think that creates commentary and healthy debate. Help me to see why you don’t agree with me and perhaps we can come to a middle ground. But that’s just me.

I will never call anyone names during a debate. I think that is very childish. I also might think your opinions are fucking out of this world stupid but I don’t think YOU are stupid. Such was the case that happened to me on yet another one of those fake ass Democrat Christian profiles. Seriously, if these fuckers are trying to sell me the plight of being a Democrat AND Christian, honest to God, they’re doing it wrong. That profile, “The Democrat National Christian Choice”, posted something about the ACA. Some dude commented that it might be saving you money but other Americans are left holding the bag to pay for it. Sure. I’ll give ya that one because that is true. But guess what? That’s what taxes are for- helping the community, the common man, helping each other. Anything you have that taxes pay for is Socialism. I suspect a whole lot of you fuckers don’t really know what that word means but that sidewalk you walk your ass upon is Socialism to its very definition. Just so you know. So anyway, I was sarcastically telling that dude that I’ve been holding that bag since I was 15 years old (legally- I didn’t pay taxes before that time) and if we do a little math and I retire at the age of 72, I will be holding that bag for 30 more years. Okay? So add that up- that’s 57 years of holding a bag full of shit that has nothing to do with me and if you got a problem paying for ACA, kindly when you cash your social security check, give me back my fucking money, I’ll take it in pennies but you better get choppin’ dawg cause that’s a piss ton of money.

And somehow the admins on that profile thought I was defending him. I don’t know how the HELL anybody could have read what I wrote and not gotten the sarcasm. Then they called me stupid.

Yes indeed, I have a hang-up about that shit. A big one. I’m not stupid- I never claimed to be smart but I am goddam sure not stupid. I would never call anyone stupid because really, I don’t think people are stupid. Their opinions may be a little misinformed but that doesn’t make them stupid. And.. I am still stunned by that… they have been apologizing all over the place to me but no. nonononono. My toes have been stepped upon. I will not accept that apology but I will agree they are a bunch of sorry mother fuckers. I do stupid things all the time. I have thought stupid things. I have been very ignorant to facts but I am not stupid. No harm no foul, it’s a long story that maybe five people in my circle of friends know about but, if I was stupid, I would be married. Okay? By contrast, though,  if I was smart, Joe and I wouldn’t even be together right now. Exactly 22 years after the fact.  You see how that works? And HE thinks I am the stupidest person to ever walk this Earth like he isn’t but he is at least smart enough to never say that to my face. You see?

I am many things. Goofy. Silly. Lucy Logic to the core with plenty of stupidity abounding but I am not stupid. All the same, I see people doing and saying stupid shit all day long but I don’t think they are stupid. If you don’t want to be my friend, that is fine. I have gotten this far in my life by myself. With not even a family to go running off to if I needed something, don’t think I can’t get 42 more years by myself cause I absolutely can.

But don’t call me Stupid.

Don’t call anybody stupid.

Don’t call people any names at all. Ever.

Because you’re no genius.

Carry on.

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